cgm13.net :: the boy wonder: February 2004

AND NOW ... THE GREATEST SONG EVER!!!
(Dedicated to the one I love.)

You! I wanna take you to a gay bar.
Let's start a war, start a nuclear war, at the gay bar.
Do ya have any money?
I wanna spend all your money, at the gay bar.
I've got something to put in you, at the gay bar.
You're a superstar, at the gay bar.
Electric Six - Gay Bar [3.3MB]

Whee! The mechanic just called and they think the Jeep will be ready this afternoon. That's good news. The bad news is repairs are gonna set me back around $750. Thank God for credit cards.

You're East Timor!
You're small and lonely and have finally gotten free of a very bad situation. It seems like everyone was willing to rescue you, though the wait was excrutiating for everyone to wake up and set you free. Now you're still lonely, but happier in the loneliness since you never really liked people to begin with. And people respect you more than you really think they should, using you as an example for what they hope to accomplish.
Take the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

Grrr. That "Five Horror Films in Five Days" thing was pretty dumb ... wasn't it?

"Five Horror Films in Five Days" Day Five: "Martin"
Another lesser know gem, "Martin" was the film Romero made right before "Dawn of the Dead." This movie works on a different level as it's more of a psychological study with horror elements than a straight up horror film. Martin is a confused young man who fancies himself a modern day vampire. Because he views there is no "magic" in the world, he drugs his victims and slits their wrists to obtain the blood. The gore and scares are kept to a minimum so the story is more character driven than "thrill" driven. Romero's early work has always been fascinating as they all use "horror" as a way to address more personal and social issues. "Martin" deservedly earns it's status as a cult film and is worth seeking out.

Not much else going on today. The snow is still falling outside. The Jeep is still in the shop. Horror films and the third season of "Oz" are keeping me visually stimulated. There's "freelance" that needs to get done. The cold seems to have moved on out of my system and I am feeling a little more fit. Getting smooched by someone cute wouldn't be bad either. 'Nuff said.

"Five Horror Films in Five Days" Day Four:
John Carpenter's "Prince of Darkness"
"Prince of Darkness" is probably the last good film that John Carpenter made before the downward slide into his 90's output. Granted, the story is a little convoluted with its mix of science, religion and paranormal happenings ... but, who cares!?!? There's enough creepiness and cheap thrills to excuse any plot weirdness. Plus, you have that disturbing "video dream" from the future that keeps popping up. Good stuff! One of Carpenter's strengths as a film maker is that he usually does his own music as well. The soundtrack to "Prince of Darkness" works very well with the visuals to make an overall nice horror romp. Or, maybe I am just biased 'cause the ultra-gorgeous Jameson Parker is in the movie.

[Say His Name. We Dare You.]
"Five Horror Films in Five Days" Day Three: "Candyman"
Wow ... what a movie! "Candyman" is a deft mixture of folklore, crime, urban decay and the supernatural. Sounds like a lot going on for one film? It is and writer/director Bernard Rose does a nice job with keeping all those elements in their place. He never lets one element outweigh the rest. Watching "Candyman" reminded me a lot of Clive Barker's "Hellraiser." Innovative story, great acting (especially by Virginia Madsen), nice "pull the rug from underneath you" moments. The Phillip Glass score works like it should ... heightening the tension and totally creeping you out. "Candyman" is definitely one of the top five horror films of the 1990's. I will state that I am officially a dumbass for not having seen this movie until now.

For the Record:
1) I have a cold and feel like shit.
2) I'm irritated that my Jeep is still not fixed.
3) Fuck you, George Bush.

Editor's Note: The staff here at CGM13 World News does realize that saying "fuck you" to the President is really, really juvenile. But, it does make us feel better.

This is no big a surprise. I hate this. Every time I think about the subject my head hurts. It's never gonna happen. At least not in my lifetime.

[You Are Who You Eat]
"Five Horror Films in Five Days" Day Two: "Ravenous"
Grrr ... another misfire in my horror marathon. I figured this one was just gonna be a nice "man becomes a cannibal, goes crazy and can't stop eating that good 'ole human flesh" flick. Well, it is ... sorta. Add in some Native American folklore and you have "man becomes a cannibal then becomes an unstoppable Wendigo." Kinda like if Jason Vorhees eats his victims as well. Add two more Wendigos to the mix and the movie suddenly becomes "Battle of the Wendigos." Put some black humor into the last couple of reels and it pretty much kills this movie off. Another misstep is the music by Michael Nyman and Damon Albarn that works against the mood of the film. Some have blamed Fox's marketing for this film not being a hit (they marketed it as a black comedy). The problem is that the film just can't decide if it's action, horror or black comedy.

[Sea Evil]
"Five Horror Films in Five Days" Day One: "Ghost Ship"
Well, the third entry from Dark Castle Entertainment turns out to be just as bland as the first two (the remakes of "House on Haunted Hill" and "Thirteen Ghosts"). If you have a chance to watch the opening credits to the movie (like on HBO or something) you really should. The first five minutes of the movie are the best. Shocking, gore filled and quite fun ... but after that the movie degenerates into a muddled mess with characters and situations that go nowhere fast. It seems a consistently coherent plot is a little too much to ask for in a horror film these days. Maybe screenwriters are counting on the audience to all be short attention span television junkies. Guess what? Some of us actually pay attention and get really irritated when 1) Characters constantly flip-flop on getting away from the evil ship or staying to save it 2) Plot twists that make NO SENSE are thrown in 3) You have a lot of bad CGI that supposed to scary but just looks dumb. If you want some real fun with evil on the high seas, go out and rent "Death Ship" instead.

Other Weekend Highlights:
1) Saw Michael and J over the weekend.
2) Went on a great hike with PT and Michael on Saturday (photos soon).
3) Saturday night was pretty evil by the time it was all said and done.
4) Sunday was mostly a "napping" kinda day.

The local video store offers a "Rent Three and Get Two Free" special, so I rented five horror films yesterday. Three I have not seen before and two I have (a loooooong time ago). So, later today I will post the first mini review in what I call my "Five Horror Films in Five Days" marathon.

Movie Update:
I finally saw "Lost in Translation" last night, and I just didn't get it. It's a good film and all. Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson do really nice acting jobs, but ... Why all the stellar reviews? Why a Best Picture nod? Yep. This one went over my head.

In Other News:
As predicted, I got home late on Friday to find a message from the "Evil" on my machine. "Hey. What's up. Give me a call when you get in." Doesn't he have anything better to do on a Friday night?

[Dumb like a moose, Dib. Dumb like a moose!]

I got so excited by this headline and then so bummed by the actual story. No terror at all. I guess the citizens of London can sleep easy tonight. Damn.

Parts are on their way. The potential is for the Jeep to be fixed today but more than likely it will be Monday. 80's music is keeping me sane. Thank you radioio80s.

It suddenly dawned on me why I feel freaked out today. No, it's not the Jeep repair bill that's looming over my head. It's separation anxiety. Generally every Friday evening the "Evil" is over for beer and movies. But tonight I will traveling to A-ville to meet up with some friends and hang out over there. These aren't people he knows so I doubt he would go even if he had been invited. I have a Friday night without the "Evil" around and that should be a good thing. But, I can't help think that I would much rather be with him than with my other friends (please don't take offense other friends who read this). Separation anxiety. I am experiencing separation anxiety over someone who doesn't give a shit.

Sorry, folks. This week has been me doing nothing but bitching about the Jeep. Bah. As if I have anything really important to say anyway. The mechanic called late yesterday and they suspect the clutch is gone along with the hydraulics. What does that mean? More than likely $500+ worth of repairs with the "+" leaning toward (or over) the $1,000 mark. I don't guess that I can complain too much. I bought the Jeep used about four years ago and it's been pretty good to me so far.

The remake may be questionable ... but the poster sure does kick ass.

Here are some Thursday morning quickies:
1) Steve (my hero) has loaned me his Jeep until my Jeep is back on the road.
2) Yes. We gay men here in the mountains like Jeeps.
3) I am growing the beard back.
4) Thinking about letting me hair grow back as well.
5) I love "Technique."

Afternoon delight to follow ...

[Mari gets it.]

Well kids, February is turning into a bad karma month.
I wonder what I did to deserve it ...

Whaaa!!! I still haven't heard from the mechanic.
Damn, damn, damn. I want my Jeep back.

In Better News:
The boss lady has loaned me her car for the evening so I at least can drive myself home instead of having to rely on folks to cart me around.

In Great News:
The roomie has gotten the hot water working again. Damn. It's nice to have a handyman in the house.

George Lucas ... you are now on my shit list:
Of course, the big question mark amongst fans has always been whether Lucas would allow the original, unaltered original editions of the trilogy to also be released on DVD. Not possible, said Ward, who confirmed that the upcoming set will feature only the 1997 Special Edition versions of each film. "What George did in 1997," Ward explains, "was [to] make the movie he originally wanted to make."

And with that statement, my desire to own the original Star Wars films on dvd just died. I want the films that I watched as a kid not those beefed up versions that have very questionable additions/changes. Grrr! With the potential for the original film versions to never be seen on video again, OriginalTrilogy.com is hosting an online petition to hopefully let Lucas and LucasFilms know that the fans want the original versions on dvd. Go. Sign. Now!

Fuck. The Jeep bit the dust last night ... Something to do with the clutch. So, I am car-less at this point with the repairs promising to take days and $$$$. Grrr!!!

Fuck. Only had lukewarm water in the house this morning. Must mean the heating element on the water heater is screwed and needs to be replaced. Grrr!

Let's see what else can break today!

I did go and do that audition for Highland Rep this past Saturday. They are presenting "Into The Woods," a show that I really love, this coming July and I wouldn't mind being a part of it. The whole audition process there was a little anti-climactic. I arrived about 15 minutes early, filled out the form and immediately taken in to audition ... 10 minutes early! That kinda threw me. Theater folks are always running behind schedule. I went in chatted with the director and music director. Sang my song that I had prepared. Got vocalized (God, I hate doing scales). And that was it. Five minutes and it was done. No cold reading from the script. Nothing. Just sing and leave. Supposedly they will be letting folks know about casting by the end of this week. I don't really expect to hear from them. Asheville has such a bigger base of people to cast from. Plus, the part that I am best suited for (The Baker) is a part that every other 30-ish male that auditioned probably wants as well. If I get it ... great. If I don't ... well that's fine as well.

Grrr. I am finding it hard to get excited about a lot of things at this point in my life.

And the winning moment ... the highlight of the weekend was:
Installing a new flush valve assembly in my toilet bowl on Saturday afternoon!

Yep. These are my Gods.

How appropriate is it that Friday the 13th (semi-evil day) and Valentine's Day (ultra-evil day) back up against each other this year? Pretty fucking appropriate ...

I can't even begin to tell you the joy I feel ... knowing that new porno is waiting on the front porch for me. [Sighs and wipes a tear from his eye.]

"What's most interesting about the zombies in Dawn is that they seem to be most influenced by "the infected" of Danny Boyle's 28 Days Later (itself inspired by Romero's trilogy, especially Day of the Dead). If anything, this felt like the Hollywood version of that film over Romero's. I was left with a strange sense of ambivalence about the choice the filmmakers made to go this route, as initial scenes of full-blown SPRINTING zombies lead to some unintentional titters in the audience. Just how dead are these re-animated bodies? Even zombies who might not have been the fastest or strongest in mortal life seem to attack with incredible speed and above-average strength. (Several key moments of zombie movement are actually sped-up with camera trickery to accentuate their quickness, once again, recalling Boyle's film.) I found myself distracted during the climax by one background zombie in particular, who, finding his intended path blocked by fiery debris, scampers from one spot to another with near problem-solving agility. The "Modern / Swift Zombie Vs. Lumbering / Traditional Zombie" debate will surely rage even further once this one hits theaters."

Hmmm. Seems like I was saying something about this just yesterday. An advance review for "Dawn of the Dead: '04" is now up over at the Creature Corner.

UPS is now back in my good graces. When I woke up this morning and saw the 2+ inches of snow (that's a lot for us), I figured that my ole porno package would be delayed. A quick check of the tracking assures me that it made it to the local terminal during all the snow and is presently on a truck driving around my town. Whee! I can't even begin to tell you how much this eminent arrival has been getting me through the week.

P.S. Casey gets big bonus points for quoting "Two Tribes" yesterday.

[Danny Vox & Friends]
And now ... a photo to make Harry (and some of you other loyal readers) happy.

It looks as if "28 Days Later" (a film I really, really liked) has ruined zombie movies forever. Gone are the shuffling, slow zombies of the past. The new breed moves super-fast and can fuck your shit up in a hurry. This is evidenced in the new (and not all that exciting) "Dawn of the Dead" Trailer.

You know what's really gonna suck? Singing in a musical review of nothing but love songs on Valentine's Day. That is what's gonna suck. Need to start stocking up on beer, porno and horror films to get me through Saturday.

[Karen ... are you alright?]
Remember that really, really bad horror film I was talking about? Well, here it is ... "Cabin Fever." Ah, but where to start? There are so many thing wrong with this film. Things so wrong that even a neophyte horror buff would wince while watching it. I think that the movie's main problem is its writer/director, Eli Roth. He claims to be a dyed-in-the-wool horror fan and that's just great. Horror film fans kick ass! What Eli Roth does that is wrong (and disastrously so) is try to reference every single horror movie that has inspired him ... "Last House on the Left," "The Hills Have Eyes," "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," "Evil Dead 1 & 2," "The Thing," "Deliverance" and "Dawn of the Dead" This pulls the plot of the movie in so many directions that the final act is a muddled mess. Not only do we have the "virus in the woods" ... we have dumb backwoods townsfolk, the creepy child at the general store, corrupt small town policemen, the dumb deputy, a rabid dog ... the list goes on and on. Argh! The only good moment in the movie comes about 3/4 of the way in when our young hero feels he must kill the girl he loves (whose flesh is being devoured by the virus) with a shovel to the head ... several times. Now, that was good stuff.

One of the few advantages of DSL being down here at work is that I got to see the ultra-cute Bellsouth DSL repair man again this morning. Damn, damn, damn. Too bad he has that wedding ring on his finger.

Dear, sweet Jebus!!! A new redesign is now up and running for camillerosegarcia.com. It boasts a pretty nice gallery section featuring most of her works to date and there are claims that a store (with prints, books and more) will be up and running by the beginning of next week. Could it be possible that heaven can be found on earth? Go. View. Now!

Grrrrr. I really have NO PATIENCE! Right now UPS is on my list. I knew that I should have coughed up the cash for "Two Day' as opposed to "Ground." My porno isn't scheduled to be here until Thursday. Can I stand to wait for two more days?!?!

Editor's Note: Yes. The CGM13 Wold News author certainly does have a sad life. Whining about how long his porno is taking to get to him ... geez.

DSL is still on the fritz here at work. Bah. Means that my blogging and blog reading are getting behind 'case I'm having to use a dial-up connection. Three days to get a service man to check things out. Ridiculous! Well, it's not as if I have anything really interesting to say at this point in my life anyway ...

Bah. Weekend.
Bah. Drinking too much.
Bah. New insulation in the attic.
Bah. Really, really bad horror film (more on this later).
Bah. Monday.
Bah. DSL being a bitch.
Bah. Two hours on the phone with tech support.
Yes! Porn is on its way.

I will now restate my undying ~~love~~ lust for Owen Hawk.

The roomie and his woman are supposed to gone all weekend to go camping (if weather permits) or to hold up in some sleazy motel somewhere. The idea is to get away from this town for a few days (and I imagine have lots of wild sex without the fear of me walking in on it). So, what does that mean for little ole Chas? I can sit around in my underwear, drink beer and watch porn at full volume till I either:
1) Get shit-faced and pass out from too much drink.
2) Get bored watching large, throbbing cocks doing what they do best.
3) Get depressed cause I'm sitting alone on a Saturday night drinking beer and watching porn by myself.

Feeling tired this morning. I didn't sleep well last night. The wind, roaring out of the south, whipped around the house making it creak and moan. You could hear it plowing through the tree tops on the ridge above ... sounding sad and lonely. The rain began to pour down after midnight, hammering the roof. I dreamed of the past. Roger was there, but I could never quite see him. I walked the halls of our old high school but I never could find him.

Goddamn those Pet Shop Boys for coming up with another optimistic, catchy pop tune about how grand love is. "A bluer sky whenever you're around" ... grrrrrrrr!!!
Pet Shop Boys - Miracles [7 MB]

Editors Note: This song really does kick ass even if "love" is a dead concept.

Three notes for a cold, rainy Thursday morning:
1) If you fellas really want to see Corky naked that are ways to make it happen.
2) Hopefully that porn I ordered will ship to my "restricted" state ... [crossed fingers].
3) Have decided to re-read "Cold Mountain" as opposed to seeing the movie.

[Warm Weather & Snow]
[On the Pinnacle]
[Preston, Matt, Myself near Forney Creek]
Selected pictures from some recent hikes with Preston and Matt.

As you can tell I'm feeling a little uninspired this week re: blogging. Bah. I have a few things to focus on other than being a pissed off/depressed/fucked up mess. Doing a musical review this weekend (and next) for Suzanne. Snagged that audition with Highland Rep. Got some fun ideas cooking for "Sweeney Todd." Received a pay raise at the theatre. Life ain't all that bad ... right?

For the Record:
"Mom" isn't my mother. "Mom" is a friend who used to live here in the wonderful mountains and moved off to Washington state. See, my own mother died a little over ten years ago due to cancer. A few years later I met Judy, a super cool lady, who has a son about my age. As the friendship grew she became kinda a surrogate mother to me ... helpin' out, giving me advice, bitching at me when I fucked shit up ... hence "Mom." Hi, mom!

Posting about wanting to see Justin Timberlake naked ... how sad is that?
Damn. I need a life.

I'm bummed. When Justin exposed Janet's boob she should have turned around and ripped his pants off and exposed his cock. Grrrrrr. I guess we will just have to wait until his career tanks and he's forced to pose nude in Playgirl to make some money. Or maybe he'll succumb to the "sex tape" temptation to make some cash. Ah, one can only hope ...