cgm13.net :: the boy wonder: August 2004

I am still trying to figure out what Laura Bush has done over the past four years that makes her qualified to speak on ... well, anything. And don't even get me started on tonight's theme at the RNC. "People of Compassion" my hairy ass.

Last night was the first full rehearsal with the entire cast on the stage. Yow! The shows that I have directed in the past have always been smaller affairs (5-10 people), so this is my first time dealing with 20+ people at one time. We slowly picked our way through the "Prologue" and "Pirelli's Miracle Elixir" discovering along the way that the script and the music don't quite match up. Fun! But, I am the Dark God. My word is supreme. All will obey my will. Cast, designers, costumers and techies will all carry out my every whim.

And now, for no real reason other than laziness, a list:
1) Today is rampant consumerism day.
2) Bjork ... "Medúlla" ... utterly stunning.
3) Criterion's release of "Videodrome" is so near my house I can taste it.
4) I heart The Cardigans.
5) Ummm. That is all.

Seems I can't deny ... some days just don't feel right.
Seems I can't deny ... some days just pass me by.
Shakedown - At Night [3.84 MB]

This week: The new flesh arrives!

Since everyone seems to be taking this silly test ...
-------------
eXpressive: 7/10
Practical: 5/10
Physical: 4/10
Giver: 7/10

You are a XSIG--Expressive Sentimental Intellectual Giver. This makes you a Teddy Bear.

Hee! I just want to give you a big squeeze. You are tender, honest, generous and fair. You are an excellent kisser and a sensitive, communicative lover, and you know it. You would never intentionally hurt someone's feelings or overstep his/her boundaries. You have beautiful eyes.

Most people take your laid-back attitude, blazing wit and subtle sexiness and stick you in "friend." But some see your extreme hotness for what it is and latch on. This means you have a few members of your target sex in the bank at all times -- I call this "money in the sex bank" -- but you're too sensitive and thoughtful to exploit them. More than once.

You are so rational and deliberate in an argument that it can frustrate and exhaust your partner. Your fights can take forever, but your press on with them until they are completely resolved and both you and your partner are satisfied. If your partner is weak of will, s/he may just give in -- be wary of this! An emotional or passive-aggressive outburst later will hurt and horrify you.

It is *critically important* that you are able to respect your partner. The moment you lose respect for him/her, you lose everything.

When you make friends, you make them for life -- you can go without speaking to a friend for years and pick up right where you left off. You are completely faithful, both physically and emotionally. You are the second best (to XPIG) parent of any type.

If you are male, you have a huge shlong. Just saying.

Of the 12941 people who have taken this quiz, 12.5 % are this type.

Heh. PETA makes me laugh. Now, don't get me wrong. I think animal rights is a good thing. But PETA's message tends to be so extreme that it becomes ridiculous. This sticker on the local KFC drive through box just made me enjoy my chicken dinner a little bit more.

I will believe it when I see it. Damn Republicans.

The ad shows a swimmer and the flags of Iraq and Afghanistan.
"In 1972, there were 40 democracies in the world. Today, 120," an announcer says. "Freedom is spreading throughout the world like a sunrise. At this Olympics there will be two more free nations. And two fewer terrorist regimes."

Humph. Shouldn't it read more like "At this Olympics there will be two more nations ... nations that are now in turmoil because of the Bush Adminstration's imperial policies."

Poor Michael. Little did he realize that a boat trip just might not be in the cards.

It made me very happy to put the new Flash card in the camera and watch the photo total jump from 18 to slightly over 600 for the highest quality setting. Ah, technology. I heart technology.

"Futurama" kicks. 'Nuff said!

People and their egos constantly amaze me. A major cloud of anger, jealousy and resentment hangs in the air ... but, fortunately, it ain't nowhere near me. Still, it's sad to see people behave in a negative way towards someone who is very nice and only concerned with the "greater good." Freakin' assholes.

The package containing my new compact flash card is currently on a truck very near me. It's a miracle package as well! Notice how it left Greer, SC at 8:15 a.m. and arrived many miles away in Asheville, NC at 8:14 a.m. There is sat for whole three minutes before departing FedEx at 8:17 a.m. Sweet. FedEx has apparently mastered use of the Space Time Continuum.

Today marked the release of the fourth (and, unfortunately, final) volume of "Futurama" on dvd. It's just a shame that the bastards at Fox didn't realize what a gem they had. At least we got four seasons before they pulled the plug. Did you know that kittens give Morbo gas?

Next Tuesday will be a fun day for us rampant consumers. Whoo!
1) Bjork's new album "Medúlla"
2) The Criterion Collection edition of Cronenberg's "Videodrome"
3) Volume Two of Invader Zim entitled "Progressive Stupidity"

Yeah. I know this blog has turned into a boring mash-up of thoughts on horror films, buying of horror films and wanting of horror films. I have a one track mind. You might have noticed the lack of ramblings about porn and the posting of eyecandy (much to the joy of you straight folks that read this ... all three of you). Yeah, well ... they say Paxel has "certain sexual side effects" and I have found those out. The ole sex drive is gone. At this point I don't really have any interest in anything sexual. Damn Paxel. Or maybe it's just that there is nobody I feel like being sweet on that has killed it.

This past weekend I got to missing "Evil" something fierce. I don't think it has anything to do with the whole obsession I have. Well, maybe a little. I hung out with his brother (a cool fella if there ever was one) on Friday night and that's what got me thinking about him. It's good he's gone (best thing in the world, really) but I still miss hanging out with him. When he was in during July, I could feel myself sliding back down into that place. He says he's gonna come back up in October to see the show I am directing. A part of me hopes that doesn't happen.

It's Tuesday and there's a brown dog outside.

Oh. My. God.

"Open Water" (sure to be another love/hate film) kicks some major ass. Simple in it's execution. Sparse in the events occurring on screen. Ultimately it's one of the most disturbing movies I have seen in a long time ... leaving a sense of dread and unease that lasts for hours after the credits roll.

Whoo! I finally got those pesky Russians out of my house. Now to clean up all the vodka bottles ...

It's Official: BJ is now my least favorite person on the planet.

And the big plans for the weekend ... "Open Water," baby!

One of the big downsides to stalking someone is that you're always finding out something that you just didn't want to know. Kinda like being slapped in the face. Ouch. I gotta give up stalking and do needle point insetad.

What constantly amazes me is the super crappy art that studios come up with for video releases of their films. Take for instance the upcoming dvd release of the 1981 slasher flick "Happy Birthday To Me." The original poster art was this cool image of one of the characters getting kabob-ed. It also had the fun tag line: "Six of the most bizarre murders you will ever see." Now we get treated to an awful cover complete with a knife sticking out of a birthday cake. The tag line now reads "You're invited to the bloodiest party of the year." Grrrr. How lame!

Here's a list of some miserable, vile people that I am learning should be avoided at all costs ... especially if you happen to have a large fortune to inherit.
1. The Hook-Handed Man
2. The Long-Nosed Bald Man
3. The Two Powder-Faced Women
4. The Person of Indeterminate Gender
5. Esme Squalor
6. Count Olaf

Whoo! I have über storage for my digital camera on the way.

I had such a nice surprise waiting for me on Saturday ... an amazon.com box was sitting on the porch. Inside that box was the double feature dvd of "Village of the Damned/Children of the Damned" sent by Danny. Danny, you are such a sweet fella buying me something off my DVD Wishlist!!! You other folks can be sweet to me too.

The arrival this week of "The Art of Tom & Jerry: Volume One" LaserDisc set has made life a wee bit more fun. I just need to get ahold of Volume Two to make me the happiest man on the planet. Last year when Warner Bros. started releasing Tom and Jerry on dvd I got "wet my pants" excited. But that excitement turned to bitter resentment when I found out that the cartoons released on the dvds were edited versions of the originals. Apparently in our evil politically correct times we can't have any racially motivated jokes in cartoons that hail from the 40's and 50's. Gone are black face jokes, Chinese references and the like. Even Mammy's voice has been redubbed to make her sound less ethnic. The super cool thing about "The Art of Tom & Jerry" LaserDisc sets is that they were released in the early 90's before we became a nation of "I don't want to offend." It's Tom & Jerry in all their original Hanna-Barbera splendor. It remains to be seen whether the "Tom & Jerry Spotlight Collection" that hits dvd in October will have the censored version or the originals. The press materials claim that the set will contain "40 restored and remastered shorts." Hopefully "restored" will mean what it's supposed to.

For lack of anything better, here's a list of what's in the cd case:
01. ABC "The Lexicon of Love"
02. The Beastie Boys "To the 5 Buroughs"
03. The Cardigans "Long Gone Before Daylight"
04. Concrete Blonde "Group Therapy"
05. The Creatures "Hai!"
06. The Cure "The Cure"
07. The Cure "Join The Dots: B-Sides & Rarities, 1978>2001" Discs 1-4
08. Depeche Mode "Violator"
09. Depeche Mode "Ultra"
10. DJ Shadow "Endtroducing"
11. Joy Division "Heart & Soul" Disc 1 & 2
12. Morrissey "You Are the Quarry"
13. Nine Inch Nails "The Fragile"
14. Radiohead "Hail to the Thief"
15. The Smiths "The Smiths"
16. The Smiths "The Queen is Dead"
17. The Smiths "Louder Than Bombs"
18. Superchunk "Cup of Sand"

I woke last night to the sound of my front door being kicked in. I thought my roomie might be up to some mischief again, so I crawled out of bed for a look-see. To my total surprise, my house was being overrun with Russians ... super evil Communist Russians. I was held at gunpoint (think "Red Dawn" without a lot of hot teenage boys) and forced to redesign my site so that it can be a tool for their Communist dogma. I can only pray that they are pleased and don't kill me. Damn. Where's Joesph McCarthy when you need him?

In exactly one month I will be in Atlanta to see Siouxsie. Whoo!

What was it that Mel Brooks said?

"It's good to be the King."

I don't know that I agree with that one. At least not right now. I, as "king" of "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street," get to deal with about 30 people every night. It constantly amazes me how someone's egos will make them behave. I am sitting on a powder keg right now. One of my leads has dropped from the show and I was pressed by an ensemble member last night for the part. The departure of "Judge Turpin" isn't known by the cast at large. I wanted it that way so that I could conduct my replacement search in peace. You know, kinda like the Bush Administration hiding the truth of ... well, about everything they do ... so they can do their business without interference from the world at large. So, besides pissing off people that I either didn't cast at all or cast in parts they didn't really want, I now have the fun of dealing with this ensemble member when a new "Judge" walks through the door. I hope that his ego isn't so big that he quits the show because of this. It really wouldn't surprise me if that happens. So, I'll deal with it. That's why I get the big bucks ... right?

Rehearsal went well last night. Everybody seemed far more relaxed than they did last week. Which is very good. Last week I expected half the cast to kick out on me. We are working on only the music right now and it's hard.

While the ensemble screetched it's way through "The Ballad of Sweeney Todd" and various other tunes, I worked on the Powerbook trying to get caught up on some freelance work. ~~I came to a sad and scary conclusion. I care about my computer far more than I could ever care about somebody.~~ If I could get my computer to talk to me (well, it can ... just not the way I want it to) I would program it to. I talk to my computer a lot. Maybe I should give it a name ...

If this track is any indication ... the new Bjork album (out on August 31st) is gonna be fucking amazing. No instruments. Everything is vocal.
Bjork - The Pleasure Is All Mine [4.65 MB]

Wanna see some images from the Director's Cut of the "Dawn of the Dead" remake? It's out on dvd later this year. Check out the cool shiznit here.

One of the fun things about dealing with a big cast is that there are a lot more people than can just drop out for various reasons. So far, after one week of rehearsal, we have lost two. Fun!

I must have had more of a life this past weekend 'cause I only saw three films instead of eight (like the previous weekend). Oh wait, I had yard work to do. That's what it was.

1. "Wrong Turn" 2003
I dug this movie. A straight up slash and burn horror film ... cheap thrills and gore filled kills (plus Desmond Harrington ... yum). Fun stuff! It made me spill my coffee.

2. "Secret Window" 2004
Cool little movie made all the better by Johnny Depp's acting and a good screenplay/directing job by David Koepp.

3. "Collateral" 2004
I like Michael Mann movies. Another solid piece of entertainment from the guy that brought us "Miami Vice," "The Insider" and "The Last of the Mohicans." Oh, yeah. That Tom Cruise fella is in it as well. And, Mark Ruffalo as well. Oh, yeah!

"This is a dangerous time," Bush said. "I wish it wasn't this way. I wish I wasn't the war president. Who in the heck wants to be a war president? I don't. But this is what came our way."
[Editor's Note: Didn't want to be the war president? You could've fooled me.]

Whoo. It's been a busy couple of days here at work ... and that's a good thing. Makes the day go by faster. Big plans for the weekend? Nah, not me. Gonna watch some horror, read some books, work on some freelance stuff. Actually feeling creative (and a little inspired). A new look for the site is percolating in the ole noggin. My "instant gratification" complex is demanding that my "Art of Tom & Jerry: Volume One" laserdisc set arrive in the mail today or tomorrow. Please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Y'all have a good 'un and be bad while doing it.

Camille Rose Garcia "White Diamonds" (2004)

Damn you, ebay! You really can find just about anything you want there. I found a copy of the LaserDisc release "The Art of Tom & Jerry: Volume One." It contains five discs (totaling 77 cartoons) of classic Hanna-Barbera Tom & Jerry mischief. Yes! I paid way too much for it, but you only live once. And who in their right mind doesn't love some cat and mouse violence?

Hollywood is always taking great foreign films and doing sub-par (or truly awful) remakes of them. Case in point is "Point of No Return" (and also the television series "La Femme Nikita"), the pointless remake of Luc Besson's 1990 film "Nikita." Another great example is the dumbing down of George Sluizer's super creepy "Spoorloos" with the ultra-bad "The Vanishing" in 1993. A couple of years ago Chris Nolan did a pretty good job at American-izing "Insomnia" ... but I just gotta tell you how fantastic the original Norwegian/Swedish film is. Erik Skjoldbjærg's "Insomnia" (from 1997) features an excellent performance by Stellan Skarsgård as disgraced Swedish detective Jonas Engström. No "Hollywood" conventions are needed to propel the story. It's character driven all the way. The cinematography and design of the movie is very cold and harsh. If you can hunt out a copy of original Norwegian/Swedish version of "Insomnia" to view you really should. Check out the trailer here. [5.67 MB]

HOME STATUS REPORT
* * *
Room One: Destruction - Complete
Room One: Rewiring - Complete
Room One: Insulation - Complete
Room One: Drywall - In Process
Room One: Paint - Pending
Room One: Molding - Pending
* * *
Room Two: Destruction Pending ...

The first rehearsal for "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" is this evening. It's hard to believe that it's already been a year since I was drunk or on drugs enough to agree to direct this show. Since I have a semi-spankin' new digital camera, I am gonna try and document everything ... from first rehearsals to opening night. There will probably be some video clips thrown in for good measure as well. You're probably so excited that you could wet yourself. I know I am.

All I can say is that Dr. Phibes and Company had better get out and vote tomorrow.

Can you tell I have no life? I watched eight (yes, you heard that right) movies this weekend.

1. "The Black Scorpion" 1957
Another big bug classic from the 50's that's not quite as good as "Them!" Did they make any bad big bug movies? I don't think so.

2. "The Town that Dreaded Sundown" 1976
Interesting docu-drama about killings in Texarkana in 1946. Some fun moments with a pretty creepy killer. I now know some new uses for a trombone. Eeep!

3. "The Sentinel" 1977
Pretty fun film. It always sucks when you rent an apartment in a building that’s the gateway to hell. There some nice creepy stuff in this one.

4. "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" 1978
Another remake that actually works pretty well. They could release this film in the current climate in this country and the themes would still work very well.

5. "Mad Max" 1979
I hadn't seen this movie for a while. A good road revenge tale with a young (and super hot) Mel Gibson. I really need to check out the new dvd release that doesn't contain the really bad American over-dubbing that is present on all previous video releases.

6. "Unbreakable" 2000
Very interesting take on the origins of a super hero. I dug it.

7. "Signs" 2003
I wanted to revisit this one since I had only seen it at the movies two years ago. Hold up pretty well (in my opinion). Some great creepy thrills even if the moral message at the end is a little heavy-handed.

8. "The Village" 2004
Sure to be one of those films that generates intense debate. I really dug it. Great acting, production design and pacing.